I was unmotivated and unhappy. Selfishness dominated my heart. There was so much to be done in a day. I was overwhelmed. How could I possibly keep up with everything that had to be done around the house while taking care of my three kids? I practically had to force myself to do housework. It seemed to repel me. This may sound really bad (and it was) but when I finally got myself to do something I was bitter. I felt like "it wasn't fair" to have to do everything around the house. Everywhere I looked in my home I was reminded of this. The bitterness in my heart was toward my husband. The beautiful role as homemaker was foreign to me. I certainly didn't understand what a blessing it is to be able to bless my family with a clean and organized home.
The Lord convicted me of my sinful and negative attitude. He allowed me to see my need for His divine intervention in my heart. So in repentance I began praying to Jesus for help. I called out to Him to help me be able to complete my housework without being selfish and bitter. God is so faithful. By His grace He answered my prayers more abundantly than I imagined. Thankfully, He began teaching me how to be a motivated, peaceful, joyous, thankful keeper of the home. He gave me a love for serving my family and for keeping my family's home organized and clean. Because of this answer to prayer I now understand that my responsibilities in the home are a blessing. God faithfully uses a willing heart. Certainly, I'm nowhere close to perfect but God has brought me a very long way. Which reminds me that Christ's righteousness is the only righteousness in me! I didn't know it was even possible for me to want to serve my husband and children in this way.
A beautiful thing that is happening in my heart lately is the realization that God faithfully answers prayer (according to His will). I've been so blessed by my Heavenly Father through His wondrous love and grace. He has given me very clear answers to prayer like this change of heart for the role He gave me. It's sad that I don't pray more as He tells us to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). I'm so encouraged because I know I will be growing closer to Christ throughout my whole life (Philippians 1:6) and hopefully learn to pray more. I find myself sitting here just amazed and baffled by my awesome Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. His perfect grace released me from the bondage of sin and death and for that I sing Halleluiah (while I wash the dishes, wash the clothes, scrub the tub, the toilet, the floors..........)!
Thus says the LORD,
“Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind
And makes flesh his strength,
And whose heart turns away from the LORD.
“For he will be like a bush in the desert
And will not see when prosperity comes,
But will live in stony wastes in the wilderness,
A land of salt without inhabitant.
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD
And whose trust is the LORD.
“For he will be like a tree planted by the water,
That extends its roots by a stream
And will not fear when the heat comes;
But its leaves will be green,
And it will not be anxious in a year of drought
Nor cease to yield fruit.
“The heart is more deceitful than all else
And is desperately sick;
Who can understand it? (NASB)
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (NASB)
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